Takeaways from “Positive Intelligence” by Shirzad Chamine
I hope you’re enjoying some beautiful summer days, and able to go outside and enjoy nature! This weekend, I went to Michigan to see some friends, and enjoyed great Lebanese food, Yemeni coffee, Egyptian music, and Palestinian dessert. More than anything, I was happy to see my friends and travel — two things that Covid ensured I no longer take for granted.
On the 5-hour plane back home to the West Coast, I had the time to finish reading a book that had been on my list for a while “Positive Intelligence” by Shirzad Chamine. I recently started working with an awesome professional coach who recommended this book. My expectations where high because I admire and trust my coach and her recommendations, and indeed the book did not disappoint. This post is my attempt at reflecting on some of the key learning.
The author starts by arguing that there are two categories of voices in our head — our sage voices and our egoistic voices. This distinction is not new or profound; we all have seen versions of ourselves when we feel inspired, empathetic, and able to calmly see situations and react; this is our “sage” side. We have also seen versions of ourselves where we are frantic, nervous, stressed, guilty, judgy, etc. That is our “egoistic” voices.
I hear both voices in my head all the time. There is a “wise” version of me, and an “emotionally laden” version of me. Part of why I love writing so much is because it allows the wise version to take charge, and give advice to the “emotionally laden” version of myself. I have, however, always been fascinated by the mind’s ability to be our biggest source of power and wisdom, as well as biggest source of distress and worry. The book’s entire premise is that it aims to help us figure out how to make our minds work more as our friend, rather than our enemy.
1). The Different Saboteurs
First, the book offers a nuanced view of the different negative voices, outlining 10 key saboteurs that we all have by varying degrees. The “Judge” is the master saboteur, one that is present in all of us. We all have an inner judge that tries to find fault in who we are and what we do. The Judge may not think we are smart enough, or beautiful enough, or fast enough, or calm enough, etc. The Judge also looks to fault other people as well as circumstances.
The “Judge” is often accompanied by other sabotaging voices. For example, some people may have a victim mentality, whereas some may avoid challenges. I took the test myself and tried to reflect on the 10 different saboteurs and how they show up for me, and I was not surprised to see that my primary saboteurs are: the restless (constantly looking for “exciting” things to do), the hyper-achiever (dah), and the people pleaser.
“The Judge is the universal Saboteur, the one we all have: a predisposition to exaggerating the negative and assuming the worst is actually good for survival.” — Shirzad Chamine
For me, being aware of the different saboteurs, having a specific name for each of the 10 saboteurs, and realizing which ones tend to be loud in my mind is very helpful. After all, how can we address these saboteurs voices, if we do not even realize they exist and are able to be very specific about naming them and understanding what they are and how they behave.
2). Measuring Mental Fitness
We all have a sage voice (empathy, curiosity, innovation, focused, bias to action) as well as the various saboteur voices (judging, critical, anxious, etc). However, the key question is, on any given day, how often does each voice show up? For me, I can feel the tug of war between the two sides. This means that there is a lot of work that I need to do to weaken the saboteur side and to strengthen my sage brain. If you’re curious about what your mental fitness score (PQ) is, you should take this test here.
3). Different Kinds of “Intelligence”
The book outlines different spheres of intelligence.
- Intellectually smart people (skills, knowledge, cognitive abilities)
- Emotionally smart people who are able to build trust, navigate team dynamics and build solid relationship with others
- Mentally fit people who are able to activate the sage voice and weaken the different saboteurs of their mind. Those who are able to make their mind work for them, rather than against them.
This resonates with me as well. In my friendship circles and across teams I worked, there are people who are incredibly smart intellectually but are not very strong with people skills. There are people who are awesome with people and are an intellectual power-house, but they struggle with their own confidence, imposter syndrome, people pleasing behavior. Most of our schooling prepared us to be intellectually smart, some of our schooling probably taught us to be emotionally smart with others, but very little of our schooling taught us to be mentally fit and to navigate the countours of our own minds.
4). Strategies to Build Mental Fitness
After outlining the 10 saboteurs and how they work, the book lays out actionable strategies to build mental fitness. Similar to physical exercise, one cannot get stronger by reading about gym and muscles. Mental fitness works in the same away — and that is why the book lays out 3 key strategies to strengthen your mental fitness.
Strategy 1: Weaken your Saboteurs
Naming the saboteurs and noticing them — On any given day, I am trying to notice how my saboteurs to show, and to name them. For example, rather than saying “I’m not assertive/confident/etc,” I am trying to say “oh the judge is back again”. With consistency practice, simply being aware of the Sabatuers voices, naming them, and recognizing their presence will weaken these voices.
“The most effective strategy for weakening your Saboteurs is to simply observe and label your Saboteur thoughts or feelings every time you notice them.” — Shirzad Chamine
Strategy 2: Strengthen your Sage
The book outlines different techniques to strengthening your sage. The sage voice is one that is curious, empathetic, innovative, and able to navigate life’s choices in a way that is aligned with your deeper values. Here are two exercises that I found particularly helpful
- Name Three Gifts: To strengthen the sage voice, think of 3 gifts that any situation brings you. For example, what are 3 gifts that your job offers you? — note that this does not mean that you should stay in bad situations, but rather than you activate your sage brain and are able to see things for what they are.
- Flash Forward: When you’re stressed or stuck on a decision, ask yourself — 2 years from now, how would you have liked to have done at this juncture? This helps you take a step back and see the big picture.
Strategy 3: Strengthen your Mental Fitness Muscles
Daily mindfulness can vastly improve your mental fitness. Exercises to build mindfulness include:
- Shifting your attention to your body even for 10 seconds to notice your breathing.
- Paying attention when doing simple daily routines like showering, brushing your teeth or exercising
- Eating mindfully — pay attention to what you eat and practice mindfulness while you eat.
This book has a lot to offer, and it was incredibly helpful for me. I’m excited to spend the next couple of months practicing the daily exercises and hopefully building more mental fitness. Let’s see where this journey will lead!
